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Do You Understand Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is a valuable skill because it means being able to work with, understand and get along with all kinds of people. When you understand emotional intelligence, you can see the people around you who have it and who don’t: in the workplace, in politics, in the media, and in your neighborhood. Both EI and EQ (like IQ) are used by the media as shortcuts for emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is related to empathy. It is the ability to “read” the feelings of others and respond appropriately. Emotionally intelligent people are successful because they develop good relationships with, trust and like others. If you understand how and when to be compassionate, supportive, direct, trustworthy, or gentle with people, they will trust you and learn to rely on you. This creates a framework for business and personal interactions that build lasting, productive relationships.
To develop emotional intelligence, you must learn to focus not only on your own needs and wants, but also on the needs and wants of others. This requires learning delayed gratification, patience and not just caring about the bottom line. Emotional intelligence is also basically emotional maturity, which means that your mind can handle your emotions. According to Goleman, the five characteristics of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
• Self-awareness: People with high EI understand their emotions and therefore do not let their feelings rule them. They know the difference between feeling and thinking, and can use thinking to moderate their feelings without ignoring or suppressing them. They are confident because they trust their intuition and good judgment, which is the result of using feelings and intelligent thought to assess situations. People with emotional intelligence are willing to look at themselves honestly, see themselves realistically. They know their strengths and weaknesses and work on those areas to perform better. They have a realistically positive self-esteem, which means they have reasonable standards for their own good behavior. They care about others, but they are not codependent. They can set limits for their own self-defense. This self-awareness is the basic foundation of EI.
• Self-regulation: Also called self-control and impulse control, it is the ability to control emotions and impulses. Self-regulated people usually do not allow themselves to be too angry or jealous; they don’t have temper tantrums and hysterical outbursts, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act or react. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no. They are good at delayed gratification, understanding that waiting for what they want can bring better results. They operate based on an internal code of ethics rather than an externally imposed standard of behavior.
• Motivation: People with high EI tend to be motivated. They are willing to put off immediate results for long-term success. They are very productive, love a challenge and are very efficient in whatever they do. They understand that motivation comes from celebration and appreciation and are willing to motivate themselves and others when needed.
• Empathy: This is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs and perspectives of those around you. Empathetic people are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings are not obvious. As a result, empathetic people tend to excel at managing relationships, listening and communicating with others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives very openly and honestly. They demonstrate generosity and benevolence, as well as a positive attitude towards others.
• Social skills: Good social skills are another sign of high EI. They know how to cooperate and be a team player. Instead of focusing on their own success first, they understand that success comes from helping others grow and shine. They know how to handle disputes, are excellent communicators, and masters in establishing and maintaining relationships. In addition to empathy, on which these social skills are based, people with high EI are patient, generous, trustworthy, grateful, compassionate, and emotionally sensitive.
Here’s how to recognize emotional intelligence in yourself and others:
1. What is a sign that a person does not have EQ?
You have no idea how to respond to an emotional statement or question. “How do you feel…” elicits only what he thinks, if anything.
2. What is the disadvantage of having little or no emotional intelligence for someone? This is not very satisfying because we all like emotional understanding and empathy. It also means that the person will not listen well to your experiences or empathize with them.
3. If we cannot perceive any emotional intelligence, should we distance ourselves from the person?
If the relationship is going well, it’s going well. This question doesn’t matter. If you are frustrated by your lack of emotional intelligence and everything else is fine, you can try to teach it, draw it out of your friend, relative or partner, but this requires a lot of patience. It’s like explaining your feelings to a three-year-old.
4. What if the person has some EQ? What can you do to help them develop more EQ?
Be very sensitive and helpful when your EQ is visible. When you do something thoughtful, make sure to do it and express your gratitude. If he listens to you or someone else with compassion, praise him for it.
5. What is one way to encourage others to remain emotionally present and intelligent?
Be emotionally sensitive to it. Give him space to respond to you emotionally and thoughtfully; don’t be impatient, not very emotionally intelligent.
6. Why are people with good EQ desirable?
High emotional intelligence creates closeness, comfort, empathy and love in your relationship. It’s easy to have fun or share your feelings with someone who has a high EQ. You can count on a person with a high EQ who will be kind and considerate.
Developing emotional intelligence:
Before starting any new meeting or activity, do the following:
1. Make a mental note of the possibilities: Can you learn something there? Can you meet a new friend? Will it feel good to just get out of the house and be with new people?
2. Remind yourself of your goals: You are going there to enjoy the people there and to have fun.
3. Review your positive personal qualities: What do your friends like about you? what do you like about yourself Your intelligence, your sense of humor, your style, your conversational skills? Are you a kind and caring person? If you remind yourself of these qualities, you will radiate that positive energy.
4. Have a positive outlook: Research shows that people with a positive outlook lead better lives, in part because a positive attitude is attractive and charming and attracts people. As a result, you make friends. When you are positive, you support yourself and others, you notice the good things more than the bad, which makes it easier to connect with others. Plus, you feel a lot better about yourself, which means you feel more worthy of friends. It’s a positive spiral and it goes up and up.
5. Be interesting: Wear attractive but interesting clothes – something that reflects who you are. If you like to travel, wear a shirt, scarf, tie, or jewelry from another country, or wear something that reflects your ethnic background or hobby (sports, outdoors, Hawaiian-style shirt with surfboards, garden tools, or animal prints). This will help start conversations. Match your energy with the energy of the people around you. Obviously, if you’re dancing or eating barbecue by the pool, your energy levels will be pretty high. If you have quiet conversations at a cocktail party, discuss books, attend class, or sit down to dinner, the energy will be softer and more focused.
6. Listen: Look around you and find friends. Notice who is around you and what is interesting or attractive about them, find something interesting about what they are wearing and complement it. “Sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice that beautiful color, it looks so good on you.” or, “What an interesting watch! Does it have a story?”
7. Prepare ahead of time: Read up on some fascinating topics you want to talk about — the background to a blockbuster movie, some new technological advancements, or a cool new trend. Then, if someone wants to talk to you, you’ll have something to say.
8. Find ways to help: What do you have to do that you can enjoy? If you are in a new environment, I suggest you look for a “job”. Don’t just say “how can I help you?” Instead, volunteer to do something specific: greet people and introduce them, or stock the food table, or fill drinks. It gives you a sense of belonging, a great excuse to meet everyone, and keeps you busy enough to keep your nerves in check. The host or hostess will be grateful and remember you later.
9. Follow through: If you meet someone you’d like to get to know better, follow up the event or meeting with an invitation to coffee. The best friendships begin in these social situations.
Emotionally intelligent conversations are like tennis matches. In other words, the other “serves” him, he asks or makes a statement. Then “volleyball” returns to answer the question with an answer that invites a response. For example:
Him: “How do you know our hostess?”
You: “We went to school together. I like Pam’s friendliness, don’t you?”
This prompts your partner to respond and the “volleyball” continues. When the conversation thread ends, the next “serving” is yours. If you have to restart the conversation too often, save yourself and move on. This man doesn’t care enough. If you force the other person to do all the conversational “work”, they’ll move on pretty quickly. Monosyllabic answers are a pretty clear sign of lack of interest, even if you didn’t think so. Instead, turn on your charm and the other person will want to spend more time with you.
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